Little research has been published concerning the effects of abortion on men but there are some common findings among those studies. These commonalities are as follows:

• Men tend to suppress their own emotions when they learn that their partners are unexpectedly pregnant, when the abortion decision is being made, and after the abortion is performed.1,2,3 
   
• Men have stated that they believe this is what they should do in order to support their partners. While this may seem to be the right thing to do at the time, negative feelings will eventually have to be dealt with one way or another.
   
• Relationships are stressed by abortion. Reports of relationship failure following abortion have varied from 25% to 70%.5
  
  
• Some men will withdraw from relationships, particularly intimate relationships with women. Others may become promiscuous and still others may experience sexual problems such as impotence.6
  
  
• Many relationships will suffer from a decrease in healthy communication.7
  
  
• Sadly, many couples never discuss the abortion.
   
• Another finding is that many men want counseling. 8,9,10 
  
  
• Post-abortion men do not perceive abortion as an easy experience and, in fact, 72 to75% of men disagreed that men involved with abortion have an easy time of it and that they have few “lingering or disturbing thoughts” about the abortion. 11,12
  
  
• Still another common finding among the studies referred to here is that, after abortion, men may experience intense and painful emotions including grief, anxiety, guilt, helplessness, and anger. Their psychological pain may be acted out in substance abuse or other risk-taking behaviors. Negative emotions may progress to clinical depression, angry outbursts, or severe anxiety that impairs concentration. Men may also experience delayed grief reactions and be at risk for unresolved or complicated grief. 13

In an online study of post-abortion men (www.abortionresearch.net), we have found that men may be so traumatized by the abortion that they experience symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). These symptoms include those of hyperarousal, re-experiencing the traumatic event, and avoidance of reminders of the abortion.

So what do these findings mean in practical terms? First, if you are a post-abortion man suffering from any of the problems noted here, be assured that your reactions are normal. Abortion entails a significant loss and it is normal to feel painful emotions including intense grief and confusion. You may question your worth as a man, fear relationships, and wonder if you will ever feel good again.

The good news is that you can feel better and you can regain hope for your future. There are programs available for post-abortion men and there are counselors ready to assist them. Men can get individual help from counselors in person, online, or via phone counseling. Still other options are self-help books written for men or self-directed Bible studies. There are also group Bible studies and week-end retreats. Group work and individual counseling are usually limited to a specific number of weekly meetings. Some counseling may continue until the client decides he has reached a desirable level of healing. Regardless of the kind of counseling a man chooses, he should expect complete confidentiality.

Men should be aware that working through their grief in a group or as an individual will be a painful process. It is a courageous decision to do the work necessary to heal. The rewards of wrestling with one’s grief are many including a renewed sense of hope and self-esteem, increased confidence, and peace through forgiveness. Given these benefits, men are encouraged to communicate their experiences with a trusted friend or family member and/or to seek professional counseling.

(The website, www.abortionresearch.net, noted here is a research project directed by the Alliance for Post-Abortion Research and Training.)