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Tuesday, May 21, 2013
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The affect of "choice" can be difficult to deal with and can have a ripple effect through a person's life or through a family. If you'd like to share an anonymous comment on how an abortion (yours or someone you know) has affected your life, we welcome you to post.
The messages below may be written by people who have not yet gone through recovery. In reading them you may see very raw emotions. Feelings of anger, depression and unforgiveness are normal. These are common emotions prior to someone going through an abortion recovery program.
If the stories below trigger your heart, someone else you know may also be suffering the aftermath of abortion.
For those needing help, we'll assist you in finding a program . If you question whether recovery is necessary or "right for you"..... Please feel free to read our stories of recovery to see how it impacted the lives of others.
Feel free to email us directly for help: CARE DIRECTORY STAFF
NOTE: City and website fields are optional. Email is requested only to protect the integrity of those entering information. Your private information will not be disclosed.
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How Has Abortion Affected You?
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| Name: Shay | Date: 4/1/2013 | | Nobody on here could feel even close to as bad as I feel. I had two miscariages before I gave birth via c-section to a beautiful boy. He was my mircale baby and I was so grateful that I didn't lose him. A little after his second birthday, I discovered I was pregnant again. I thought to myself I can't even afford him and my boyfriend doesn't work so, I'll get an abortion but when I went, I chickened out and burst into tears. This was killing a unborn baby and I use to look down on other girls for doing this. I finally went back and got the abortion pill. And then what happens? A little after his 3rd birthday, I discover once again, I'm pregnant. This time around, I'm not working, boyfriend isn't working but in the back of my mind, I think this could be the little girl we always wanted. Once again, I went to the abortion clinic and got the pill. Guess what happen the next year, I discover I'm pregnant once again. This time, I'm working, boyfriend's still not and I'm not even sure I want this relationship so, I decided this time to have the abortion surgery. Now, I felt guilt and relief after all three of these abortion but around those times, I was very simple minded. I didn't want to get on birth control because I was afraid it would make me infertile but I didn't want abortions to become a form of birth control and I don't want to keep murdering my unborn childern. So, I finally wise up and get on the birth control patch a month later(2012). So, after that I'm so relieve and I'm doing great even though, I feel dehydrated and nausea all the time, at least it's not from pregnancy. Well, Feburary 2013, I discover that somehow again, I am pregnant. I'm upset, angry and confused. I thought to myself why? I did everything right! maybe god wants me to be pregnant? Maybe my son shouldn't been an only child? This might be the little girl I always wanted. But just this past friday, I went right back to have a surgical abortion. This time didn't stick too well like all the other times. The guilt of aborting 4 babies, the thought of being a bad person, and just emotionally distraught. I actually watched the video of a surgical abortion on youtube and I cried and cried. It was horrific. Every ten minutes, I don't think god will ever forgive me. But if there's anything I can do to prevent someone from making the mistakes I made, one less person going to hell like me. I would like to add that if I ever got pregnant again, I would just go through with it like a real woman should from now on but it's to the point, I don't even want to have sex anymore. |
| State: MD | | Country: United States |
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| Name: Alisha | Date: 3/20/2013 | | Hi everyone, I am Alisha and I am 22 years old. I got pregnant when I was 16 with my best friend. I was so scared when I found out I was crying I did not know what to do. I wanted to keep the baby but when I talked to my parents and the baby's father they were all saying its probably best to get an abortion. I went to go get an ultra sound done and I was 9 weeks. Mind you this is going on almost 7 years later now. So I got the abortion done in July and have been depressed ever since. I felt like I was forced to get an abortion and my younger sister has 2 kids of her own and was not forced to get an abortion. Even my best friend has a kid of his own to. I have been punishing myself like no other and cannot deal with the abortion to this day at all. I knew it was also the best thing for me but still I can't help wonder what my daughter/ or son would have been like how they act anything. |
| State: Wa | | Country: United States |
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| Name: Renae | Date: 3/20/2013 | I had an abortion 19 years ago. Ironically, the past few years have been the most difficult for me. I cannot forgive myself, I'm filled with remorse and regret. I am a Catholic, and it is not only against my religion, but it is against all I believe in.
I chose to do it anyways. I had an 8-month-old at the time. His father had just walked out on us and had began seeing someone else. I didn't feel I had a choice back then, alone with no job, I saw no other way.
Regardless of all this, its no excuse!! I struggle with, "I could've, should've and why did I do it?" I hate myself, I cannot forgive myself for doing it.
I know in my heart it was a baby girl. I don't have any daughters, just three boys. I got rid of it, and now there is a hole in my heart that will always be there.
I know my baby is in heaven, I hope she will forgive me, and that I will meet her someday.
For anyone who is considering abortion, please be sure you can live with yourself, because it will affect you for the rest of your life.
My heart will be forever broken, for the baby I never met, I took her life away before she took her first breath...May God Forgive me.
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| State: california | | Country: United States |
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| Name: LC | Date: 2/25/2013 | | I wanted to share my story with you all because I hope that it will touch someones life, and maybe give them a little strength that they may be lacking right now. A lot of stories I have read say they feel guilty so I share my story with a different light. I am a young woman who has a lot going for me in life. I hope to start a job in Law Enforcement and buy an apartment. My boyfriend and I have been going out for over 2 years now and I have never taken birth control because I was afraid of the weight gain and hormonal in balance it may cause. Being together so long I never thought I could get pregnant. It took me a good 5 weeks to even realize that I was pregnant, and aborted after 7 weeks 5 days. My morning sickness was horrible, I felt sick all the time, and my sense of smell was outrageous. I could smell the soup someone was going to eat tomorrow! Just before becoming pregnant I have always been a health addict. I eat right, and exercise daily. A few years prior I had lost 30 pounds putting myself at a healthy 113 for my height. The weight gain was not what I noticed first however, it was the eating habits. I found myself stopping at mcdonalds after the gym( I have not been at mcdonalds in 6 years), and thought it was just bad period cravings until one night my mother asked what to make for dinner and I said I would probably just have cereal. She laughed and said I hope you're not pregnant. Laughing and saying no sternly I still had no idea. Then I realized I missed my period.. I bought a pregnancy test right after and took it at my boyfriends house. Being young and naive I waited the first 1-2 minutes and the one line (being negative for pregnancy) starting to show up faintly. A HUGE sigh of relief came from me, and I threw it in a trash bag in my drawer at his house, avoiding the trash. 2 hours later I felt so sick and went to take out the second test to try again dropping the other on the floor. When my boyfriend picked it up his face collapsed. "What's wrong" I said, and his reply was "You might not want to see this" I grabbed the test from his hands and began to tear up. Luckily he made good money and could help me afford the 550 I paid to abort the child I carried for almost 2 months. Taking the medical abortion in the office, then the two other pills at his house was certainly an experience I do not recommend to go through if you are not absolutely sure. While I still fight the weight I put on I did fall into depression a little. My hormones are still out of wack and my boyfriend has to deal with my craziness. But he loves me, and while I only told him and my older sister they support me with enough love. I started eating healthy again, and started working out hoping to get back to my normal lifestyle. While sometimes I still think of that day sitting in the office waiting to abort the baby it brings a pain to me. It would be easy for me to sit here and write to you all that I had a horrible experience (it is not something that is easy for anybody!) but to write the guilt I felt would be a lie. My boyfriend and I love each other. Going through this has made us stronger, and we will have children down the road when we are ready. That is how I knew that this was right for us. To pay for the diapers, the formula, and all the things that babies need at my age would be ridiculous. I pay for my college classes, I pay for my car, my phone bill, groceries and a lot more. It would not be fair for me to bring a child into this world who I could not give the world to. Goodluck to everyone going through their hard time. Just remember you are a strong person and are not alone. Please remember that and hang on. We will all get through this. |
| State: CT | | Country: United States |
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| Name: Kayla | Date: 2/21/2013 | I had just turned 20 when I learned I was pregnant. I ended up having an abortion in January of 2013 and it has been a struggle since. Me and my boyfriend thought long and hard about the process and finally decided it would be the best option. I was all right for the first week, but I noticed that I started getting more irritable. About 2 weeks after, I started experiencing the doubts and fits of depression. It still hasn't quite left and still haven't found help. I thought that I would be ok with the abortion being that I didn't want kids, knew I wasn't financially stable, and am still a full time student. I keep reminding myself and have to do daily meditation and relaxation to keep the depression from completely taking my entire day. My boyfriend has stuck with me through all of this, however, not ever experiencing something like this, he doesn't know what to do to help.
Before the abortion, I was pro-choice. After, I now know I would strongly recommend any other option. The emotional pain has taken over and almost ruined my life. |
| State: SD | | Country: United States |
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| Name: Keith Branson | Date: 2/12/2013 | I am the father of five, maybe six children.
I am not sure about the sixth because the miscarriage, if that is what it was, happened suddenly within the first eight weeks of my wife “sensing” she was pregnant but no pregnancy test was taken before hand to confirm or deny. She had given birth to two children prior to this time and the way she felt, the way things tasted and smelled told her that she was with child. I take her word on it, I am guy and I can’t really know these things first hand.
The three children I talk about (a lot) are the ones I saw born. I have held them, laughed with them, cried with them and everything else involved in parenting as best as I have been able to; beginning 23 years ago now.
Ok, let’s see where we are now. 3 + (?) = 3 for sure. What about the other two, you wonder? I did introduce myself as a father of five.
Well, those two are the ones I don’t talk about. I haven’t spoken of them to more than a handful of people ever. I don’t think about them very often either. But sometimes I do and it makes me sad. Just mentioning them now stirs my inside, churning me with emotions that I usually can press down, push over, block, or ignore. You know probably what I am talking about; when you have a memory that is not pleasant and you try to remove it from your mind but it is still there in the background.
Why am I dragging this out? What’s the deal with the other two children? Did they make bad choices or embarrass me in some way? No, they never had a chance to do anything right or wrong. They were taken from the womb before they were old enough to go it on their own. I still am dragging my feet here, funny, well not really funny like “ha ha”. Strange may be a better word, or difficult to just say the “A” word. They were aborted.
There I said it.
Am I relieved to get that off my chest? No, I thought at first. As I have let it settle into my mind that I am free of the long-term storage fees, I do feel some relief.
Do I feel any better about it now that more than a few people know that has happened in my life? I can only response with “maybe”. My feelings on how it is received and acted on will be the determining factor on that answer.
Will I regret sharing this information? I hope not, only if it brings additional harm and not healing.
If I quickly get defensive and seek to justify what happened, then I start to talk about those early years of my life, in rebellion, a “prodigal” from my Christian upbringing. If I get real, I say both abortions were terrible things to have caused. If I own it even more then I say they were wrong and tragic events I caused.
Yes, it took two people to get pregnant. However in both cases, I was the pursuing party, seeking my own selfish pleasure and without self-control to withstrain my desires and respect the women. Did they agree to have consensual sex with me? Yes. Don’t miss my point, especially my pointed finger to myself and other men who may read this. I could have prevented the death of those two children by not helping to create them. I put two women in a situation that they had to make a choice that I wish, so wish, had never been there to have to make. One I knew about and passively let it happen. The other I was told after it was done.
There are complications in my sharing of this long held, “Classified” information.
First, the women that chose to abort the pregnancies I helped cause don’t know I am sharing this and have not given me permission. “Oh, well tell it anyway, it’s your story”, is one thought. However, I continue to remind myself that it is not just my story and I must respect their privacy to process through the post-abortion life in their own way. They haven’t asked me how I am doing, how I feel about any of it; as a matter of fact, I don’t have contact information on either to even approach them. I wish I could share more of the details; it would probably be helpful to others. But as it is now, I won’t.
Second, by bringing this up, and out, I cause a lot of attention to my life and my past. To have people sorting through the facts of my stories, like a browser at the yard sale is disconcerting at best. Though it is not comfortable, it is important to share. I am like everyone else I have ever really known; I have made mistakes in choices and behavior. In most areas of my life, past and present, I am an open book. In this area I have fiercely guarded the lid on the box from even cracking open a little.
Third, any revelations about myself to others may cause to me examine the evidence carefully before presenting it. As I thought back over the emotions and mental struggles I know I had after the abortions, there were other issues that began to surface that I had not be consciously aware of that had indeed plagued me. I have also be very alone in trying to process it all.
Privacy for the other people is showing respect that I didn't show before. Letting people in on my secret is risky but also, somehow freeing. To let a burden be shared with others can make it lighter. There is a level of healing by letting it out and there is a sense of purpose from it -- if the telling helps someone else that is burdened or if it prevents it from occurring in someone else’s life.
I am thankful for a website like Abortion Recovery InterNational, Inc. and I hope other men will share their story at https://www.facebook.com/AbortionAndMen.
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| State: Tennessee | | Country: United States |
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| Name: elaine | Date: 1/31/2013 | | Time and the Good Lord heals all! |
| State: Ms | | Country: United States |
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| Name: leena | Date: 1/30/2013 | | I had broken up with my long time boyfriend, and started sleeping with a "fling". My boyfriend and I ended up getting back togther and I found out that I was pregnant. I knew in my heart it wasn't his but Ive never had the guts to tell him. He wants to wait till we're married to have a child, so even though I wanted a child so badly I agreed to have an abortion. He (believing that it was his) was really supportive the whole time. I was really sick the short amount of time I was pregnant, so i thought I'd be ok after with my decision. Regardless of the father, the baby was mine and I aborted. I go back and forth about how I feel and my emotions havent been right since then..its been 6 months. I'm afraid God won't give me another baby because of what I've done. I can never say I regret things I've decided to do, but this is a decsion that took a serious toll on my life. I'm 30, and I pray every night to get pregnant again, even though I'm afraid I don't deserve it. I only hope that my baby knows how sorry I am and how I really thought I was doing the right thing. I'm so depressed sometimes that I don't even know how to function. |
| State: MD | | Country: United States |
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| Name: nicky | Date: 1/30/2013 | i have been reading these stories for an hour now, i had a termination a few days ago. At the time i thought that it was the best decision but now it is the worst decision i have made. I am different from a lot of the other stories. I am 38 years old with 3 amazing children. I thought that having another child would effect their life and their future and all the opportunities that I could give them. So my husband & i discussed it and decided that this would be the best for the future. I grieved a lot before i had the procedure and on the day. Since then i haven't been able to cry and i think that my body is in shock, i can't sleep or eat. I feel as though i am unable to be a good mum to my children even though i did this for them.
My question to others is how to you get over these feelings. I know that i regret it but i can't do anything about it now. I want to be the best mum in the world for my children but i need to get rid of these feelings.
HELP HELP HELP!!!!
I love my lost baby with all my heart & have planted a rose in his/her rembrance. LIfe is precious and I have done the wrong thing. I can only hope that in time I can be forgiven and forgive myself. This is the worst feeling and I would tell others to take time to make a completed decision and talk in full with your partner/husband. |
| State: nsw | | Country: Australia |
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| Name: Karen | Date: 1/22/2013 | My name is Karen: 32 years ago I made the biggest mistake of my life. I was 16 at the time and had gotten pregnant, my boyfriend and I felt it was bet to have an abortion. I can tell you Planned Parenthood will lie and tell you this is the right choice and not tell you the truth about what you are about to do to an innocent baby. I wish now that a Christian would of been outside the doors of that clinic that day to tell me the Truth. I can remember the details to that day the dreadful feeling you have when you walk in and see all the other girls in there, I remember them asking me do you want to be awake or alseep, it was 100.00 more to be asleep, so I had to be awake.
I remember going back there and them examining me to tell me how far along I was. I can remember going and sitting in a room to wait and just the feeling of guilt just pouring over me. I remember them coming in telling me its time and I freaked out and said I can't be awake, please! I can't. I would say I had a full blown panic attack. I said I can't do this and I remember them having me lay on a couch to calm down and them giving me something to calm down and them telling me just rest, then waking to them telling me it's all over.
I walked out of there ashamed and from that day forward have lived with the guilt.
I later in life got pregnant again at 19 from my same boyfriend and at that time chose to keep my baby, who was a beautiful! girl, we did not ever get married, because he was involved in drugs and drinking and I did not want our daughter raised around that, so we parted ways... when she was 18 months old I meet a man who accepted her as his own and we got married when she was 3, after we got married we gave our life to the Lord and became Christians and I my husband went on and on about being against abortions. I had not told him that I had one. I figured after him hearing that and him being so against it he would leave me, but I had to confess. I finally did, but he loved me all the more and to this day is all I have told, besides now. I have 3 kids now all grown 2 married and 1 in college, but I still live with the guilt of having an abortion, none of my kids know and each are all strongly against abortion. I still live with the constant shame and cannot bring myself to tell them...ever.
My husband and I are both Pastors and I refuse to ever tell about having an abortion, from the pulpit, that is a secret I keep buried. I being a Christian know that God has forgiven me, but to this day I cannot forgive myself for what I did 32 years ago. I live every day in the shame.
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| State: Oklahoma | | Country: United States |
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| Name: G | Date: 1/13/2013 | I had a termination at the age of 18 on the 1st of August 2011. My ex-boyfriend and I were in a long distance relationship for nearly 3 years. Just over 2 and a half. We weren't in love, only after events that followed to aid our break up I realised that he was not the one for me. I was 5 weeks pregnant, and I had no sickness.. Just felt slightly nauseated at times throughout the day, still hungry after i ate and I had slight bloating and back ache. I didn't think too deeply about this all though, as I usually get these symptoms before starting my period. I was taking the pill, but missed 2 tablets. And continued to take them, oblivious to my pregnancy.
The day I found out I was pregnant, I was at my ex's house. I peed on the stick and sat impatiently shaking on the toilet .. Scared to see the result, but knew in my heart the result would be positive. And it was. I walked out of the bathroom, and straight into his room closing the door behind me.
'... I'm pregnant..' I said, holding out the stick for him to see.
"Fuck off... You're not, how could you be? Just fuck off" he said to me, as I collapsed onto his bedroom floor, ashen and in shock. I knew it wasn't the right time, but I expected a calmer, more respectful response. And that I didn't get. I lay on his bed, just staring at the ceiling. We were going on holiday to America with his family for 4 weeks on the 4th of August... What would my excuse be for coming home with a bit of a belly?
He turned around and walked towards me, and I stood up thinking we'd comfort each other with a hug, but he punched me in the stomach. I screamed and cried from the shock of it more than the pain I think, even though It hurt a lot, but thankfully i didn't have a miscarriage. I was just so shocked that he would do that to me.
He told his mum that I was pregnant, his mum told his dad... And we sat in their room as they told me that I was to basically have a termination. They had already called a clinic, and i was to have a surgical procedure as i was flying on the 4th and may bleed too much on the plane if I were to take the tablets to induce miscarriage.
I had no time to think, or really cry ... I didn't cry once. Not on the way there, not whilst I was sat waiting... Not even after. I was just a shell, nothing going on inside. Numb. My ex made it all about him, and complained and threw up from 'nerves' ? Who was it that was going in for a termination again? Me, or him!? I was alone throughout the whole thing. I just wanted my mum there, but felt I couldn't tell her or anyone in my family as I was manipulated and blackmailed into not uttering a word. I was fragile and scared so I didn't. His family paid for it so I felt like I owed them something, and silence seemed like the right payment.
We broke up in January 2012 and it was one of my best days. Things became heated in the relationship whilst away on holiday, and he threw me into a door, merely days after my surgical procedure.
I never truly dealt with it, and now as I'm posting In 2013 I realise that I have so much repressed sadness, anger, hate... And everything that comes a long with this sort of thing. I'm ashamed to talk about it. My family now know, and my mum sometimes tries to talk to me about it but I can't, because I cry. And then she cries. And we cry together.
It took me a while to feel comfortable around anyone, especially the opposite sex... And I'm very cautious and wary of who I associate with. I have a lot of baggage, and I don't want to burden anyone with it. But someone came a long at last who has healed me, and will continue to heal me in many ways, unknowingly. We have been together nearly 7 months now, and we fell in love instantly. We fit. He is my best friend, my favourite person. He has so much love, and gives me so much love. Being with him makes me realise that I never truly loved my ex. As this is what real, true love feels like. I told him about my termination, and he was so understanding and caring and knew that I had been through some difficult times. He never judged me once, which is what I was so afraid of.
I'm trying to cope with it all now, and I've been crying for weeks, and have suffered from mild anxiety attacks. At work, and at home. I sometimes feel alone even when I'm in a room surrounded by people, because i feel ashamed to talk about it with anyone, as i have fears and worries that i'll be judged and rejected. I just wish I had more time to think everything through in my head properly that day. But I realise that, that particular moment in my life was never supposed to be apart of my future. And I can accept that.
But don't ever accept someone controlling you, your mind or what you do with what is inside of YOU. It breaks a person apart. It is your body and you should always listen to YOU.
I hope you all find that place where you gain peace of mind, and all your regrets are gone. Just know that if we're all alone, then we are all together in that too.
Love to you all, from the deepest emotions of my heart. X |
| State: England | | Country: United Kingdom |
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| Name: D. | Date: 1/9/2013 | I was 18 when I made the worst decision of my life. I discovered I was pregnant fairly early on (5weeks). My boyfriend and I decided we were going to keep the baby. I was terrified, of course. An unplanned pregnancy is always frightening. Little did I know my deep fears would be used to manipulate me into a decision I hadn't even considered beforehand. I made an appointment with a gyno to confirm the pregnancy and immediately the doctor stressed the "easy" decision of abortion, after all the "embryo" would ruin my life and it was only a tissue mass right now. I still didn't pay this option any mind.
My boyfriends mother called me at 1 am in a fit of rage after the day of my first appointment. She scolded me for 4 hours straight, threatening me and accusinging me of ruining her sons and her life. She said over and over "he is just like his father and he will leave you to raise this child on your own!". And "do not expect any love or help from me in this if you don't make the right choice". My doctor also continued to pour her "counsel" to abort. This coercion from both parties continued for about a week. I had been stripped and shamed and made to feel like keeping this innocent child was going to ruin everyone's lives. I was too weak to fight. To weak to stand up for my child. I hated myself. And I did the unthinkable. I made a call and in just 2 days, I went in for the abortion.
I was ushered into a room where they handed me pills for nerves and pain. After I had taken the pills I decided that I could not go through with this. The nurse told me that one of the pills was a cervical softener and that it would cause severe deformities and I had to finish what's was started. So defeated, I did just that.
The doctor was a younger woman with cold eyes and she carried on a very casual conversation with the nurse as she dismembered and removed my child. The physical pain was immense since my cervic did not soften at all. It was as if my body was attempting to protest the act. I was assured that tomorrow was my rebirth and that it would be like this never happened. It has been 6 years. I've attempted suicide twice over this (mom saved me once and the other I was so incoherent that I blacked out). I've been institutionalized twice and in and out of doctors for the after effects. I have nightmares constantly. I feel shame, guilt, anger, hate for myself and the people who influenced this decision, and not a day goes by that I don't weep for the baby I killed.
I am a murderer and can find no redemption from this. It has traumatized me to my core. I was a straight A student, I was passionate and lively. The light has flickered out and I am more empty of happiness daily. An army of psychologists and psychiatrist have not successfully treated the severe anniversary and due date depressions that plague me every year. I have PTSD and everyday is a flashback, everything is a reminder.
I have since given birth to a beautiful baby girl and she has started to keep me afloat with her unbridled joy for life. Though I look at her at times and wonder just who I killed that day. In ways accepting motherhood has healed some wounds but ripped others open further. I know I don't deserve her. But I knew the day I found out I was pregnant with her, I would never let a coercion weaken me to the point of giving in. I was single (having destroyed my relationship with her father, which I always do) but it didn't stop me from making the right decision to respect my child's right to life. Her father and I are now married and slowly we are working through my pain for her sake.
I hope someone gains something from the worst choice in my life. My only regret. There are always other options. Do not let people bully you into abortion. Do not believe that it is an easy way out. Many women report coercion as the reason for their abortion. This is disrespecting the "right to choose" they cling to so. If you are pregnant, know that that is a baby and you are a mother. Do as a mother should do and respect that persons right to live. You have the right to all information, something many will deny you! There are pregnancy crisis centers and churches always willing to aid in adoption or parenting. You have the choice to ruin a life or enrich it. I am not religious and I know abortion is wrong. I have experienced just how wrong it is...
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| State: NY | | Country: United States |
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| Name: Stacy | Date: 1/5/2013 | I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we found out I was pregnant in august. I was in complete shock and always thought deep down that the day I found out I was pregnant would be a happy one and had even fantasised about it.
But I was so wrong and when I found out I couldn't stop crying. My boyfriend made his opinion clear that he was not ready for a baby despite being very supportive of me. This only made me sadder. He assured me that whatever decision I made he would be there for me and the baby. In the end I went through with an abortion. I don't know what actually drove me to do it, I think it was a combination of it not feeling real (not really believing I had the beginning a human inside me) and being afraid to admit to myself and my boyfriend that I might like the idea of having a baby.
Immediately after having the abortion done, I felt HUGE relief - I didn't have to think anymore and the decision had been made. It felt like a weight had been lifted and we smugly said to each other "if we can get through that we can get through anything".
What I didn't realise is that we hadn't got through it at all just yet.
The relief was short lived and the very next day I was sobbing hysterically and wanted to be pregnant again. My emotions were so extreme and my boyfriends were too. He was angry at me for not telling him how I really felt the day before. I'll always remember while waiting in the abortion clinic right before the procedure, I was crying and still not knowing what I was going to do - my boyfriend said to me "Do you want to leave now?" It was my chance - it was the fork in the road of my life and I remember looking at the exit willing myself to get up and walk out and thinking "YES I WANT TO LEAVE", but I stayed seated, I didn't move. Now I will live with that moment for the rest of my life.
I felt so guilty for deliberately harming my body and destroying the life I had inside me, my body was confused and it was like it was angry at me.
I bled for about a month, sometimes alarmingly heavily and felt scared and alone and GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY.
My relationship with my boyfriend suffered enormously for the next 3 months - he was not interested in hearing about how I felt guilty and was like he just wanted to pretend it never happened. I had no one to talk to and found myself crying almost everyday, feeling depressed, tired, losing weight as I had no appetite and unable to explain to anyone why I was so upset.
Everything came to a climax one night when we went to a party and I found my boyfriend lying in bed with another girl. Our relationship very nearly ended that night. The human reactions of both of us over those few months drove us to do things that we never wouldve normally done and almost killed our relationship. Thankfully we are slowly rebuilding our relationship now and are feeling almost back to normal.
I feel much more at peace with myself now, 4 months later - I no longer cry about it, however I have not forgiven myself or my boyfriend if I'm honest with myself. I desperately want to get pregnant again and find myself obsessing about it, however my boyfriend does not feel the same way.
It seems everyone around me is pregnant now. Many of my friends are pregnant, and now my sister is pregnant too - she is due one month later than I would've been due. This really hurts as I would've loved to have shared the experience with her and I feel my decision would've been different if I'd known she was pregnant when I was. I worry that I won't be able to get pregnant again as some kind of karma or punishment. Like I don't deserve it.
I know I can't change my deicision and who knows what would have happened if I had decided to keep the baby (miscarriage, illness, relationship problems...), all I can do now is try to enjoy my life for what it is today and try to focus on the future and not the past. I'll never forget it.
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| State: CO | | Country: United States |
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| Name: Ashley | Date: 12/27/2012 | | My name is Ashley and I am a typical sixteen year old that has straight A's and has a bright future ahead of me. So you would think that I have no reason to be depressed. I have overcome a lot like being addicted to alcohol and Vicodin. That's all in the past, I got my life together and started going to school again. I found out that I liked school and I am good at it, but if anyone asked me to describe myself in one word I would have to say "murderer". I had an abortion the day before Thanksgiving 2012. I murdered my second child and now regret it more than anything. I lost the one thing that was supposed to save me. I knew getting pregnant again was a gamble, I just never thought abortion was going to be the result. So now? I have to try to move on to keep my peace of mind. I am running out of time. I am looking for the answer sheet instead of figuring it out on my own. I am too ashamed to ask for help, I believe that I deserve to suffer because I did this to myself. I am embarrassed to be walking in this skin not because I got pregnant at sixteen, but because I was selfish instead of being an adult. I was responsible for protecting my baby, and I failed. That makes me a failure. So no matter how many A's there are on that report card deep down where it counts, I failed. This abortion has not only ruined my life, my hope, my dreams, my relationship, but my self worth. And that isn't something you get back easily. |
| State: Ohio | | Country: United States |
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| Name: nic | Date: 12/24/2012 | | I had an abortion when i was 14 years old i did not no i was pregnant till i was 17 weeks at first i was totally scared and terrified about what everyone would say and decided on keeping the baby but i had to tell everyone so the first person i told was my boyfriend at the time he told me to get rid and called me every name under the sun it really hurt me and i was broke my mum and dad gave me the choice but i coulf tell that they really thought abortion was the option i was devastated my head was all over so i decided i eas going to end the pregnancy after i thought everything was fine but then the guilt kiked in a slowly i got depresed i am noe 17 and there is not a day that does not go buy where i dont think of what i did i am discusted in myself i cant get it out of my head and its killing me please someone help!!!!! |
| State: uk | | Country: United Kingdom |
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| Name: Mark | Date: 12/19/2012 | My wife and I have been together for over three years. Not quite enough time to really get to know a person. What I did know about her I found was extremely common. We both carry a diagnosis of bipolar disorder however, my wife leans more towards depression rather than mania. She had been plagued by a past that until now I had no idea about. Among other things she was dealing with a pregnancy and a baby she gave up to abortion at 15 years old. Now, at the age of 51 I am aware that she has been carrying this burden for quite a long time. She says that at times it keeps her so debilitated that she cannot get out of bed and rarely eats and simply chooses to stay isolated. I simply do not know how to help her. And, those she has tried t owork with cannot get through her wall. What makes it even worse is that she has become a Christian and learned that the bible punishes those who sin. She also knows that God forgives and that his son died for our sins. If there is anyone out there who might offer some support and/or ideas I can utilize to help her. I do not know where to turn. Presently she is an inpatient at a local hospital and has become so debilitated she rarely gets our of bed and wishes only to be alone.
My email address is recovery4maine@gmail.com
Thank you and God bless.
Mark |
| State: Florida | | Country: United States |
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| Name: Jennifer | Date: 11/29/2012 | September 1st , 2011.(when i was 17) is the date i foundout i was pregnant at the QEII in Halifax i spent 2 days in and out of the hospital because they couldnt findout what was causing my stomach pains, on the second day the doctor came into the room where my boyfriend and i were waiting and he asked if anyone has told me anything yet, i confirmed that no one has told me anything and he looked at me and said congratulations you're 4 and a half weeks pregnant...immediately my face lit up & i wrapped my arms around my stomach, i couldnt help but be happy..who wouldnt be? right...well my happiness was short lived, my boyfriend who was 22 at the time was not happy ,he was angry and upset.. he told me i HAD to get an abortion, my instinct reaction was defensive , i told him to get out of the room and that i didnt want to see him for the rest of the day, i took the bus home after they did an ultrasound to make sure it wasnt a tubal pregnancy and gave me an appointment for a normal ultrasound , a few days later i had the ultrasound adam went with me but didnt go in to see the ultrasound..he didnt want to see what his baby looked like , at the time the baby didnt look like much it was only 4 1/2 weeks , but being shown where the baby was isnt something ill ever forget, adam & i fought for another 4 weeks , i wasnt allowed to contact my family, i wasnt allowed to do anything until i agreed to call the clinic and get the abortion.. after 4 tiresome weeks of constant fighting day & night i gave in , i knew there was no way to win against him, my arms were bruised from him grabbing me because i didnt want the abortion, and i grew tired of the fighting so i gave in and let him have hwat he wanted, at 9 1/2 weeks pregnant i aborted the baby , thats a feeling ill NEVER forget , im permanently emotionally & physically scarred from the abortion. for a couple days after the abortion everything was fine.. but i wasnt the same happy girl i was before , i cried all the time i rarely ate and if adam and i had a conversation it ended in a fight, we stayed together for 6mths after the abortion and it was hell, we fought constantly, i worked 2 jobs to pay the bills because he didnt want to work , he cheated on me with 15+ girls in a 6mth period.. i self harmed regularly to deal with the pain and emptiness i felt after the abortion... its been almost 9mths ive been without him and i got a tattoo in memory of MY baby, but even though it brought some closure i still have days i cant cope.. it seems everyone around me is pregnant , even people that have gotten previous kids taken away are pregnant and i cant help but shake my head because id give anything to be able to have my baby in my arms where she/he belongs.. after almost 9mths im finally trying to see someone and its hard because of the nightmares and panic attacks and scars. im 18 yrs old and the thought of having sex again terrifys me because i never want to have to have another abortion... the 1st one killed me emotionally , if i had to do that again, id end up literally dead.
and thats my story.
R.I.P
Carsen...i love you , whoever you would have been |
| State: nova scotia | | Country: Canada |
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| Name: C. | Date: 11/28/2012 | August 7 2011. This is the day I had my abortion. I was 16 years old, with my boyfriend for 4 years, and I thought I was making the right decision. I was (and still am) having irregular period ever since I began my period at the age of 12. I never thought to take a test until I was about 11 weeks and a few days pregnant. This was because of my irregular period. I didn't realize I may have been pregnant as I was always "late". I was 12 weeks, 5 days pregnant the day of my abortion. When I found out, my boyfriend (who was 18 at the time) and I made a quick, probably too quick of a decision to end the pregnancy. Abortion was the right thing to do, or so I thought. I called the clinic and made the appointment. They told me I needed an "urgent appointment" as I was almost into my second trimester. Neither of us could discuss this with our parents, they would never approve. I felt as though I had no where to turn. I was scared, young, helpless. I was not even finished high school. So it was set, my appointment would take place a few days later. I can still remember the morning of my appointment. I was sick to my stomach. I didn't realize what I was doing. I didn't realize this decision would affect my life every single day. Finally, I arrived at the clinic. Sitting alone in the patient waiting room was horrible. I remember talking to my unborn baby, telling him/her that I was sorry, I loved him/her, and I hope he/she will forgive me. I remember the last words I said were "I'll meet you, one day. I love you". It all happened so fast. I can still remember laying on that cold table, my legs trembling. The medicine kicked in, making me feel dizzy and unaware of what was going on. When they let me go to the recovery room, I immediately threw up. Shaking and crying I wondered if I made the right choice. My boyfriend was right there with me. I will never be able to show him how grateful I was for him being there. The night after my abortion, I woke up in a panic. I had a terrible nightmare about my baby screaming for me, telling me not to leave. I have had many other recurring nightmares similar to this over the past year. Unfortunately, 2 months after my abortion I found out my boyfriend brother and his girlfriend (2 years older than me) were pregnant. I was so angry with myself, with them, with life. I took my anger out on everyone. I fell into a deep depression but tried to maintain myself. It has been so hard watching their baby grow. I found out that I would have given birth to my child the same time as them. It still hurts deep down to look at that baby and realize that could have been me. My boyfriend and I are in fact still together and I love him deeply. I am now in university. I try to do my best to make up for my regrets in having an abortion. I now volunteer with an organization for my school that raises awareness about abortion and unplanned pregnancy which directs women and girls to this site. I hope my choice will get easier as time passes but I really don't know. I feel as though I will always have this terrible weight on my shoulders and emptiness in my heart. That is what scares me most.
If you are reading this, debating whether or not to end your pregnancy, please know that the pain never really goes away. For over a year now, I have thought about my baby, every single day. I was able to leave with my ultrasound photo, though it hurts me deeply to look at it. Please, if you are considering abortion, weigh your options. If anything, I hope to change the mind of at least one person considering abortion. Remember, you are NOT alone. |
| State: Ontario | | Country: Canada |
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| Name: Jennifer Allen | Date: 11/27/2012 | I had an abortion four years ago and I did not experience any negative reactions to it both emotionally nor physically. I have a rare form of COPD that affects young people and being pregnant and going through childbirth would have put my life at risk. I spent three weeks researching and my boyfriend, doctor and I decided that abortion was the best option.
I had an outpatient procedure. No pain nor any complications. I felt relieved that I had dodged a bullet that could have taken my life. I do sometimes wonder what would have happened had I not had an abortion. Would I have survived, would my baby have survived? But I was 19 and I love my life enough that I want to spend it with the family I already have. Not all women experience negative feelings and not all of us are forced to have an abortion. Since my abortion my doctor agreed that a tubal litigation would be a good idea for me, so now I cannot have any children and put my life at risk again. I will adopt one day. |
| State: Kentucky | | Country: United States |
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| Name: m | Date: 11/12/2012 | I had an abortion 9 years ago when i was 25 yrs old. i remember everything like it was yesterday. my boyfriend at the time made me feel like if it went through w/ the pregnancy i would be a single parent b/c he wouldn't be there. upon hearing that and being a product of neglect by a father i felt like it was the only thing i could do, to not have a child like myself. i was working contract, still living at home. i couldn't think of the future and the possibility that my like will/would change. during the waiting time before i had the abortion i didn't talk to GOD. i couldn't i felt like if i did he'd tell me not to do b/c i knew in my heart it would be wrong so i stayed silent. i told noone. i went through w/ the procedure. it hurt, i cried, i had a sense of relief. i thought it was done. a few days later i had i started having excruciating pain and a ridiculously high fever. i still stayed silent, went to work and acted as nothing had happend w/ my friends and family. 2 wks later i went to the hospital b/c the fever was becoming unbareable. i drove myself to the hospital and they admitted me immidiately. i had gotten and infectinon in my uterus, i also found out that i had fibroid. something i had no idea i had. the said that the instuments used to conduct the termination may have grazed it (the firbroid) which may have caused the infection. i was in the hospital for little over a week. noone knew the real story. i stayed w/ my boyfriend for three years till he got another girl pregnant. we broke up. he married her and 3 children in total w/ her and is an amazing father to her. i am currently single and childless. my fibroids continue to grow and my gyno is worried that due to the size of my firoids i may not be able to carry a baby to term......the moral of the story don't have an abortion.
i feel forgiven but b/c of my life circumstances and where it is now, i'm sad, jaded and hurt.....don't have an abortion.
Bless |
| State: Ontario | | Country: Canada |
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| Name: Kristin Lee | Date: 10/30/2012 | I just had an abortion a few weeks ago. I didn't really want to do it, it was more of the boyfriends decisions. I had so much trauma that it kicked me back into my eating disorder. I've tried drinking my pain away, everything...but nothing can bring that baby back to me. Nothing feels worst than this...God, I just wish I could take it back.
RIP My Little Nugget
08/11/2012 - 10/19/2012
You may never believe it, but Mommy loves you.. |
| State: FL | | Country: United States |
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| Name: Jennifer | Date: 10/29/2012 | I had an abortion in August of 1991, when I was 18 years old. The experience traumatized me and, to this day, is a secret known only to my then-boyfriend and me. The details are the stuff of many post-abortive stories: Teenage couple, madly in love, big plans/dreams, no money, judgmental/unsupportive family, etc., etc. In no way am I justifying my decision. I take total responsibility for it; I didn't even ask my boyfriend his opinion on the matter. I knew what I was going to do the second the pregnancy test stick turned a shockingly bright shade of blue. I tried to be very detached and clinical about it, but I had no way of knowing the devastating impact my abortion would have on the rest of my life. Oh, what a fool I was!!
My boyfriend came with me to the clinic and was as supportive & sweet as could be, but I could tell he was a wreck. I didn't receive much in the way of "counseling" at the clinic. I was asked the reason why I thought I couldn't have a baby and I answered, "because I'm leaving to start college in 3 weeks." It makes me sick to reflect on that answer. My selfishness, my cowardice, is a fact I live with every day. The "counselor" just nodded. The clinic seemed more concerned that I came with the proper amount of cash -- and it had to be in the form of a money order (strange I still remember that detail). There was no ultrasound offered back then. I can't say whether that would've changed my mind or not.
I remember the sound of the vacuum machine, the clinic worker at my side instructing me how to breathe during the procedure, the poster of a hot-air balloon on the ceiling, and the dr.'s voice when it was over (after examining what was taken out of me) saying, "approximately 6 and a half weeks gestation." I was then wheeled to a recovery area to lie with a heating pad for a bit before the long, silent car ride home with my poor shell-shocked boyfriend.
That was the beginning of the end of my relationship with my baby's father. We stayed together for 4 more years, but we sort of shut down emotionally, never talking about what we'd done or how we felt about it. We were just so sad and couldn't seem to get beyond it. Forgiveness came when I became a Christian in my mid-20s, but the regret still haunts me. I'm happily married now with a couple of kids and so is my ex-boyfriend. I think about the fact that, even if we had decided to place our child up for adoption, there would be solace in knowing we had a beautiful 21 yr. old out there in the world (I am certain I was carrying a girl). But now I'll have to wait to see her in Heaven. I would tell any woman/girl contemplating abortion to choose life. Even if you can't manage to care for a baby, you could bless a couple struggling with the heartache of infertility through adoption. Abortion claims two victims: you & your baby. God can and will forgive you for whatever you've already done, but you can spare yourself a lifetime of pain if you choose life while you still have the chance. |
| State: New Hampshire | | Country: United States |
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| Name: ZMP | Date: 10/28/2012 | I would strongly consider the choices you are making before choosing abortion...
You might come to the decision and be at peace with yourself (for now) that abortion is the option. But comming from someone that has put the pieces together from his mothers stand point it is a deadly decision to make. Yes, my mother had other mental disablities which most likely stemmed from the two abortions she was forced into back in the late 70's by her siblings and parents. Which led to her attempted sucide in 2010 she laid in the hospital for 11 days with mrsa,pnemunia,stoke,brain damage, and paralyzed from her choice then passed away on 10-11-10. She was to young only 54.
Aso you might think, "thats not gonna happen to me" but yes it could very well happen to you. You dont know the outcome of the rest of your life especially after such a tramatizing experience. You dont know what you'll face mentally down the road. If you do not seek the proper care after this choice this could be you. Truly seek proper care not just medication also counseling (a great one.) Doctors and nursed arent going to tell you things you might feel or lack of feeling for certain things, your normal function might be off, understanding, caring for people, compassion all these thing could lead to mental disablities that the doctors wont tell you about. They are there to make a dollar to feed their families.
There are other options available to you. I strongly ask you consider them.
I made a song on 10-11-12 about my mother, decision she thought she had to make, things I found out after her death and the things I remember about her. This is not an anti-abortion song but a song about my mother. please check it out on youtube.
youtube search: Risen1j416-this for you momma |
| State: indiana | | Country: United States |
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| Name: unknown | Date: 10/15/2012 | | When i was 14 i found out i was 9 weeks pregnant, i till my parents mother whom told my mother, this caused my parents depression. They tried so hard into convincing me into an abortion. My partner (who im still with, 3 years) didn't get his opinion in this. My parents forced me into abortion, I felt scared, i didn't want to but I didn't want to lose my family. I was still in education and I didn't have a job. Once I had the abortion i felt depressed, so I stayed with a family member in the country side away front parents and boyfriend. This didn't help, other it worse. I'm now 16 and I still regret having the abortion, I still cry and think about what it would be like if I still had my baby. I feel alone and wish I had someone to talk to. I know I have friends family nd boyfriend but I know I have friends family and boyfriend but I can't bring myself to.talk to them. I know I'm young but I really wish I didn't do what I did. :'( 12.10.10 |
| State: England | | Country: United Kingdom |
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| Name: Jamie | Date: 10/10/2012 | I never ever thought I was the type who would say.."if only I could do that over" or "wish I did that differently" Never thought I was type to live with regrets. And I have no regrets except one and thats choosing abortion.
Taking the "easy way out" made nothing easier. It was on impulse and fueled by fear which drove me to such an irrational decision. When I look back its like watching myself go through the motions and its like i wanna scream "NO dont do IT be strong u can do it just keep it!" but its too late.
I was 23 and had gotten pregnant from my "friend w benefits." I felt like he wouldnt be an ideal dad or be much of a help to me and felt alone. I felt that i didnt have the money and that i was already struggling as a single mother at the time. i wanted best for my child and thought another one would set my child back and myself back for that matter. I made the decision to have an abortion and had my mind set that it was right thing to do. I cannot blame anyone but myself for it and Its not a good feeling. Most of the time i live my life happily and dont think about it but sometimes it hits me like a ton of bricks and i have to fight back tears.
I have asked God to forgive me and i know he has but the question is "can i forgive myself?"
I feel like the only silver lining on my situation is to inform other girls on the stress and anxieties that come along with it. and to hopefully help young women make the right choice. i went from pro choice to pro life the hard way!!!
I hope that anyone whos coping with thier decision tries to do the same.. try to help someone else. bc there are soooo many girls feeling lost and are in the shoes we were once in:) |
| State: Missouri | | Country: United States |
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| Name: tam | Date: 10/4/2012 | | i was 37 years old i found out i was pregnant i could not believe it i felt alone and scared i have three other kids i m a single parent i had recently lost my ride 2 work and i was losing my babysitter it seem like my whole world was falling apart and abortion seem to be my only opinion i prayed about it i cried about it but i still did it i m so sorry i wish i had took more time i wish i had told someone and ask for help can't believe i could ever do what i did to my baby i m so so sorry and i want my baby so bad i dont think i can ever forgive myself for what i did to my baby i think of my baby all the time i cry all the time for my baby i love my baby i was so wrong to do what i did and i cant change it i cant take it back and i will never get to hold my baby and show him or her how much i love em my heart will forever break for my baby i am so sorry that i didnt give my baby a chance i m so sorry |
| State: ms | | Country: United States |
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| Name: dd | Date: 9/30/2012 | | I am 26 yrs old. I have a 3 yrs old son. I am recently separated. The desicion wasn't hard. I didn't love my husband anymore and I couldn't do this alone. I had an abortion on Friday Sept 28 2012. It was horrific and.painful. the numbing.medicine didn't work. I was 12 weeks 6 days, had scar tissue from my c-section so instead of taking 5-10minutes it took 90 minutes and 2 attempts. Needless to say never again. I do not regret it. I just can get the feeling, pain, screaming out.of my head. My God loves me and knows my heart. I have forgivin myself. He shall.forgive me |
| State: pa | | Country: United States |
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| Name: Debbie Jenkins | Date: 9/19/2012 | When I was 19 yrs Jan 1983 I found myself pregnant and had no husband I literally didn't know what to do. My family told me I needed to get an abortion and that it was the right thing to do. That day was the hardest thing to do. I remember after it was all over that I felt so empty and felt so bad. I have since lost a baby as an infant also in Jan. 1992 around the same time that I aborted one 9 yrs ealier. My heart still aches for the child I never saw due to the abortion. I have 3 beautiful daughters still alive, but I still have a aching and emptiness in me, I am so sorry that I ever did that and if I had another chance I would never do it again. I would like to help other women not to make this mistake and to help them relize there is better options for them!!!
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| State: Kansa | | Country: United States |
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| Name: Anonymous | Date: 9/14/2012 | | I just recently had an abortion,I was only about 6 weeks pregnant. When I found out I wasn't too shocked because I didn't get my period that month even though me and my partner used protection as after that took a plan b pill.We talked about our options and came to the conclusion that abortion would be our best option. We are both early 20's college students and we cannot financially afford a child at the moment. We were both okay with the decision, after the procedure I felt fine the nurses were so nice and my partner was there supporting as well. The only thing that I'm finding hard is not being able to talk about it or tell anyone.especially my family who are back at home while I'm away at school. I know they would have their own opinions and probably judge me but I just don't like keeping any secrets,I haven't even told my best friend. I know I will get through it while I'm recovering,im just glad that I found this site and can share my story. |
| State: Ohio | | Country: United States |
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| Name: Heather | Date: 8/18/2012 | | I broke up with my boyfriend on July 4th. I found out I was pregnant on August 1st. Having been told that I could never get pregnant at 15, I was thoroughly shocked. I immediately called a close friend and very pragmatically stated that the situation 'is what it is' and that I would have an abortion. I decided to tell my recently departed boyfriend and he was more supportive than I could have hoped for. He wanted to be with me through everything and since I'm 20 and decided not to tell my anti-abortion parents, this was an enormous comfort. I went to the doctor a day later and had a urine test, confirming the pregnancy. I made an appointment to have the procedure done one week later. The worst part about that week was the morning sickness, cramping, fatigue, and mood swings. I seemed to get a little more restless and irritable as the days passed. On the morning of the procedure, I woke up feeling relieved that the day had come and fearful of the upcoming hours. I almost felt as if I went through that day in a daze. My attention was never really focused or connected with the present moment. I don't understand what my feelings were. I remember the moment before the anesthesia kicked in-- I looked around the cold room and all I wanted to do was cry. As soon as I awoke after the procedure, I told the nurse that I was fine and ready to leave. She encouraged me to sit for a few minutes and collect myself, but all I wanted to do was get my clothes on and get out of that room as quickly as possible. The following day was awful. I didn't want to get out of bed all day and it had nothing to do with any physical side effects of the abortion. The negativity that consumed my thoughts was unbearable. I forced myself to get out of bed and do something that night, knowing that hiding under a blanket was not the way to recover emotionally. I have pretty much resumed my normal life. I got up every day this past week and went to work and interacted with people relatively normally. I've slept much more than I usually do, but I'm not sure if I should attribute it to depression or literal physical fatigue. I'm still so confused. I don't know what I'm feeling about the decision that I seemed to so easily make. I know that I could not have supported a child and I would not have wanted to bring a child into this world under anything less than suitable circumstances. I still live at home with my parents, am only a sophomore in college, and am in my 19th month of recovery from alcoholism. A child deserves to be brought into a world with stability and consistency, which is something that I don't think I could have provided. My boyfriend and I are kind of back together now. I think this experience may have brought us closer together, but I'm not sure what it's done to me. I haven't been able to do any physical exercise since the procedure, which normally a part of my daily activities, but I know that cannot be the cause of the difference that I feel in myself. I've considered seeing a therapist. I know better than to ignore feelings and not address them. They usually have a nasty way of popping up at a later time. I feel so lost. What if this was my only baby? And if this was the right thing to do, why do I feel like I have to hide it? I don't regret the abortion, but I wish I could allow myself to feel this pain and recover. This experience has been awful, but I'm giving it to God. I know that He will take care of me as long as I continue to do the next right thing. I just hate waiting, but I know that this will be in His time, not mine. |
| State: New York | | Country: United States |
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DISCLAIMER: Abortion Recovery InterNational, Inc. and services provided by us: ARIN CARE Directory, ARIN CARE Line, ARIN CARE Centers/Programs are referral and informational websites, not professional counseling sites. We are not all licensed therapists, although many of our affiliates may hold those credentials. We are not responsible for the actions performed by any person as a result of anything written within or related to Abortion Recovery InterNational or any division of our organization. By using our services, you agree to these terms.
Abortion Recovery InterNational, Inc. strongly encourages individuals affected by abortion to have completed an abortion recovery program PRIOR to involving themselves in the counseling of others; legal, research, speaking or activism opportunity.
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